Well, we have been in Japan for about a month now. Everything has been, and continues to be, totally crazy here.
Every other day we have some sort of crazy off base or on base adventure. For example:
About 2 weeks ago, Rheagan, Lucas and I went out in to town to purchase a car. I had received a recommendation and directions to a place called ‘Ruby International’ from a buddy at work who also, kindly lent his car to me so that I could investigate the off base location. Ruby’s, is a 15-20 minute drive from the base. 15 to 20 minutes means about 6 or 7 miles in these parts…not bad. The proprietor of the car dealership is a short and pudgy Pakistani man with a toothy smile, solid English, and a very sissy name by American standards (who names a boy "Ruby"!?). Anyways, Ruby turned out to be a great guy and offered us some very reasonable prices on a number of great, if very used, cars. Rheagan had her eye on a particular 94 Honda Accord, so I asked if I could take it for a test spin. Ruby said no problem and tossed me the keys.
At first, I thought that he was going to get in the car with me (as per normal in the states) instead he just smiled and began to piddle some kind of tiny Japanese PDA. Lucas was acting up so Rheagan opted to hook him up with lunch rather than join me in the car. So I got in the car and fired her up. After doing so, Ruby leaned down and said "Best if you just make a block…ok, head down that way (he pointed eastwardly down the narrow road) and take your fist right, and then keep taking rights....ok. We cant have you getting lost now can we…ok?" I said "ok" and pulled up to the edge of the parking lot not daring to go father. Gobs of tiny Japanese vehicles were flying by on the narrow 2-lane road. Ruby’s mechanic, a very thin and wiry man in an all blue jump-suit darted out almost suicidally into the traffic and with the aid of a red handkerchief, held things up long enough for the Honda and I to escape.
I immediately started out on the wrong side of road and had to swerve to avoid an onslaught of yellow and red mopeds. After fighting back the sweat that was beading on my forehead and locating the relative safety of the left-hand side of the road, I took a deep breath, and pressed on. The car was doing great. I made it to the first stop light and put my turn indicator on....quickly fighting back the urge to go 'right on red'. (Turning right on red in Japan is a sure way to acquire a first hand evaluation of the Japanese Emergency Room). After making the turn, things began to get very weird. The street immediately narrowed into just 1 lane. I decided to continue on with the directions "keep turning right....ok". This was a simple plan, and I felt that I could trust it to keep me out of trouble. Then the road began to wind back and forth and obscured my since of direction (the sky was overcast). On drove on for a while and look closely for the next right hand turn. The turn never came…there were lots of lefts and the road certainly meandered enough to confuse street wise of people. After a while, I realized that I was totally lost. As I continued on I started noticing telephone poles very close to the road….quickly turned into telephone poles in the road (literally coming up right out of the concrete). I began to feel like a race car driver as I dodged between mopeds, mini-cars, and telephone poles. Finally, I came to the first right and took it. The road then narrowed into what I can only describe as a cart path. I decided to press forward. Again, there were lots of turn offs to the left, but none to the right. I was beginning to feel a sense of panic crawl up my throat. I had no cell phone, no map, and no clue. However, just as my unease was approaching I came out just two blocks from Ruby’s. Rather than making a big block, I had made some kind of giant pretzel.....with only 3 right turns.